He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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