we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
