I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
