She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
