i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
