He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
