Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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