Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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