I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We named our party play list daddy issues
4 words: hood of his car
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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