Don't make out with my wife yet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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