what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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