South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
