thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
