At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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