I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
