Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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