it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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