I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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