she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize