but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
