like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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