im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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