ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
