I want to stick my p in your. b.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
