She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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