just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
