i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
