I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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