Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
