So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
