Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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