Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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