Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
