All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
