Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
