I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
