He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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