But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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