There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize