the condom got lost in my hair
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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