mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
