She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
