Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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