Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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