Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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