cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
