forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
