Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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