Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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