Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
