is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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