carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
