sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
