I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
