Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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