I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize