I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
