Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
