i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
