so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
