Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You've changed since you got that strap on
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
