dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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