he shaved USA in his pubs
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
